Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Dating Drama

Today I remembered why I don’t date. I hate it. There is nothing fun about it. Especially when you meet someone that you like and they give you no know clue as to where their interest lie.

Was it a date or not a date, I still don’t know. In addition to me not understanding what happened that night we haven’t been able to find a time to get together again. We had planned for Sunday night, but he had family obligations and I had a wake to attend. Both of our plans ran long, so meeting didn’t work out. Next we planned for Thursday. Today he emailed me to tell me he forgot that he is covering a shift for at the bar for a coworker that night. Again, no go.

I did see him on Saturday. It was kind of high school but my friend K wanted to check him out. We went to the bar where he works. Now I know that I was taking a calculated risk by doing this. He didn’t seem to think us showing up there was strange.

Normally this is the point where I would be done. There is something about this guy that I really like. I am just hoping that I have the patients to see if goes anywhere.
Next time he emails me ask me what I want to do, I just going to send him an email that says MAKEOUT.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Another Holiday in Hell

Thank God Thanksgiving is over! I hate this time of the year.

I am drowning in family obligations. Not only do I have Thanksgiving had Christmas which is a two day event with my family, I have five birthdays. My mother's and my sister's three sons are all in November. My niece has her's is in December. My sister refuses to make it easy for every one and just have one party of all of them.

So far this month my sister has expected me to be to her house for dinner 4 times in the past two weeks. Family is like most good things best when enjoyed in moderation.

We were at my sister's house the day before Thanksgiving, for birthday number 2, when both her and I were given a talking to by my father. Seems he didn't like the way were speaking to each other when we were there the Friday before for my mother's birthday. He told us separately that he felt very uncomfortable and that we had better not do it again. It doesn't matter if you are 4 or 34 he still feels he as the right to regulate your behavior.

Now when this happens he doesn't discreetly pull you aside. He does it right in front of who ever may be standing there at the time. That way you will be less likely to cause a scene or punch him in the eye. I did neither of these things, however I wanted to do both.

The best part of it is after it's said he acts like nothing happened, he is all hugs and smiles. Which of course just makes me more angry. I spent all of the Thanksgiving staying away from him. Luckily my sister had 21 guests for dinner so it wasn't that hard.

Next year I am going to on vacation for Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Half-Nekkid Thursday

I support Half-Nekkid Thursday.


Happy Thanksgiving!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

To Date or Not To Date

I am little bit confused at what happened last night. I am not sure if I was on a date or not. When a guy you met on gay.com asks you to the movies it's a date right?

Last week I met this guy on gay.com. He IMed me. I don't even remember what we talked about other then it wasn't sex. We exchanged email address.

After a few emails he suggested I come down to the restaurant where he tends bar for a drink. I wanted to meet him but felt a little strange about meeting him with a bunch of his coworkers around. My friend C talked me into it. She came along, I thought this would make it less akward. We hung out at the bar and had a couple of drinks. He turned out to be very nice.

We continued to exchange email, had a phone conversation, he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him. We decided on a movie, a time and a theater. We each paid for our tickets. When the movie was over we went out for a drink.

In the bar we had a great conversation. Typical new gay friend conversation, when did you come out, how did your family/friends take it, are they ok with it now? Nothing was forced it was really nice.

We had to leave, because the bar was closing. For the next 20 minutes. We chatted in the parking lot. It was cold and getting late. I told him I really had to get going, he gave me a hug. He told me I would have to pick the next movie.

I was hoping it was a date, but I am not sure.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Bottoms Don't Run the World....I Do!

I thought I would put together a few thing for all you Bottoms to keep in mind. These thing will help you keep your Top happy. After all we all know a happy Top, makes for a happy Bottom.

1. You're not in charge here I am. If you want to be in charge be a Top.
2. Be clean. I know what comes out of that part of your body, but that isn't what you are going to be using it for, so make an effort.
3. Don't move unless you are directed to do so. Chances are you can't see what's going on and I can, take my direction. I promise you will enjoy it.
4. If there is even a slight chance you can't take it all, please say so during our negotiations. It is big. If you think it's to big for you, let's not waste our time.
5. If your ass is hairy it's OK to clip the hair but don't shave it. I don't want stubble burn on my face any more then you do.
6. Stop trying to reenact what you see in porn movies. Real people don't have sex way, again don't move unless told.
7. If you come to my place you will get fucked in the kitchen. Why? 'Cause everyone gets fucked in kitchen.
8. Never call me Daddy. If you have some bizarre fantasy about getting banged by and old man leave me out of it.
9. The whole jock strap thing it's hot for about 10 seconds, the quicker we can get it off the better for both of us.
10. If you are going to be a bottom it's all about your ass, spend some time on the stairmaster. I don't want to see a wave of chub move up your back side.
11. Take responsibility for your orgasms. Don't expect a reach around, I'm already doing some of my best work here.
12. If I come to your place I am not interested in a tour of the house, nor am I interested in getting to know you. If the sex is bad I won't be back. Actually it would probably be better if you answered the door naked. I haven't got all day.
13. There is no need for screaming. A little dirty talk is welcome, but all out wailing is not.
14. When I get up to leave don't grab my arm and ask me to stay with you a little longer. We're not dating. There will be no cuddling.
15. When I am leaving don't lean in for a kiss a handshake will do.
16. Please revisit number two. I can't stress cleanliness enough.

Now if you just keep these mind we will all have a better time.

Thank you.

I'm Exhausted

It is now 12:09 am eastern daylight savings time. I can't fucking sleep.

It was about 9:45 when got into bed. I was exhausted then as I am now, but every time I close my eyes nothing happens. The sleep aid it's helping.

Every once in a while I have this problem. It's usually happens when I can't make a decision.

I have been trying to decided if I should go back to school now or if I should wait 'till next fall. If I wait 'till next fall I can save some more money and possibly buy a condo. If I don't wait I will be that much closer to finishing school, which is something that I should have done a long time ago. If I go to school now will I still be able to afford to move in April. If I move in April will I be able to afford a place that I don't hate. Will that place be in the city or will I stay in the burbs. Is this a date I am going on Saturday or is he just looking for friends. I really need to get on an exercise program. What am I going to do about my job. I don't want to have to go through looking again, it's so difficult. What if I start school just to quit again. Holy crap I am going to be 35 soon. If I don't find a boyfriend soon I will have to buy a Sebring convertible and move to Palm Springs where old fags go to die. If I don't loose some weight I will never be in a relationship. I am in so much debt on one will ever love me. I need to stop thinking about the 25 year old an move on. He did say he loved me fucking him. What does that mean? And hello 35 do you know what that is in gay years.

Oh my god I'm exhausted and naked.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

It's a Girl

On Saturday at 2:09 pm my friend T gave birth to a baby girl. This T's third child. She is her second daughter, she also has a son.

When we were talking she relayed the following conversation she had with her pediatrician. Conversations like this is why we are such good friends. It's pure T.

Dr : "How is every thing today?"
T : "I'm a little concerned, there seems to be something sticking out of the baby's Hoo Hoo."
Dr : "You know you can call it a vagina."
T :"Well.... I could, but I can't. What is it?"
Dr : "That would be her clitoris."
T(in her best Edith Bunker voice) :"aaaahh ooooohh!"

Monday, November 14, 2005

St. Michael

Is it stupid to have a crush on someone just because of a tattoo?

In the retail hell that is my Saturday and Sunday, I work with a guy who has a tattoo of St. Michael. St. Michael is an Archangel. He threw the devil to hell for trying to take over heaven. If I were an angel I would want to be him.

His answer to me asking him why he had the tattoo was because he liked the idea good conquering evil. That is the same reason why I chose Michael as my confirmation name.
I swooned like a twelve-year old girl.

It doesn’t hurt that he always wears low-rise jeans that allow the top to his underwear to be seen or that his eyes are perfect shade of blue. He is painful cute in his thick back rimmed glasses. It takes a lot of work for me not to gush every time I see him.

In the end it’s all the same he’s straight, not that I’d have a chance if he weren’t.

It’s Time for Androgyny

There is a new person working in my office. Last week I heard people talking about a new hire who's name starts M. M has a woman's name.

Here is where I am confused. I was in the lunch room today putting my lunch together there was also another person in the room who I didn't know. We said hello to each other exchanged pleasantries, but I couldn't tell if this person was male or female.

Normally I would have just said, "Oh are you M? I'm Scott nice to meet you." Under the circumstances of not knowing the gender of this person I didn't want to risk it. He/She looked like he/she could take me in a fight. At 6’5” I try to look tough, but it’s just an act.

MA is the land of the lesbian, but they make it so damn hard to tell. Fifty percent of the time I am wrong about who is a lesbian and who isn’t. On Friday I saw an HRC sicker on a car in the parking lot. I hadn’t see the car before so I was hoping it belonged to M, it wasn’t a Subaru so again I am confused.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

In Public

I have been hooking up with this guy for a few months. Last week he told me he wanted to have sex in his office. When he said it I tried, unsuccessfully to contain my excitement. Sex is great but, I am all about the venue.

When I lived in LA I used to hook up with a guy that liked to have sex on his roof. He would call me up, tell me to come over to his building, when I got there he would buzz me in. I would go to the roof where I would find him waiting, naked. It was usually in the middle of the after noon. His building was the same height as the other buildings on his street. There wasn't much worrying about other people seeing us. The truth is if you are having sex in public you don’t really care who is watching you.

This will be the fourth office I have had sex in, twice it was on a conference table. I have done it at the beach, in a car, in a parking garage, in a public restroom, next to the elevator in my old building, I am sure I am leaving something out, but you get the idea.

Nothing gives you a charge like having sex some place where you might get caught.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Flip Flop

Today I am wearing flip flops simply because I can. It's supposed to be 65 degrees today. That is warm for November in New England so I have decide to celebrate the good weather with footwear.

Every person I have walked by has looked at my feet. Here people hold traditions dearly. No white after Labor Day. No wearing shorts after Aug. I fucking hate conventionalism. I may wear these all winter.