Thursday, September 29, 2005

Wicked Pissah!!

I found this great site that has a list of Boston terminology. It's friggen' awesome.

Reading this lists reminds of when I first moved to LA. It came time for to reregister my car it took a 20 minute conversation for me to figure out it's called the DMV and not the Registry as it is in Mass. Some times I would forget my self at Buzz coffee shop and order a regular regular. At Dunk's a regular regular is a medium coffee with cream and sugar in it. See, here they put the cream and sugar in the coffee for you so you don't spill it all over your self when you try to get the cover off and put it back on again.

I hate you Starbucks.

And they are jimmies not fucking sprinkles.

Here are a few of my favorites and one they forgot to add.**

Your uncle's wife.

All set
When one is done or ready. "As in when a waitress brings your food and asks 'Now, y'all set?' or when you're ready to leave, 'I'm all set tah go.'
(some one actully said this to me to me when we were done having sex.)

American chop suey
Has nothing to do with Chinese food (then again, only in Boston do Chinese restaurants serve French rolls): Macaroni with hamburg, a little tomato sauce and a bit of onion and green pepper.

You can serve them mashed, or whipped or boiled

Make an abrupt left turn (see hook for the right-turn equivalent): "He went to bang a left and take a uey but lost control." For more normal turns, the appropriate word is "hang."

What you deposit trash in.

That's a water fountain to you, bub.

Adjective meaning "very upset," as in: "So, I was running to catch the T, and the driver closed the door on me and drove away. I was so mad - I was bullshit."

Calm ya livva
Cool your jets.

Can't get
Can get. Anexample of the negative positive in Boston English: "Let's go see if we can't get yoah cah fixed."

What you use to wheel your groceries around at the Stah Mahket

Where you bring your clothes to be Mahtinized. You'll never actually hear anybody say the word, but there are still any number of dry cleaners named "Such and such Cleansers".

Coffee regulah
Coffee with some cream and two sugahs.

Down cella
The part of the house under the first floor: "Go down cella and get me some b'daydas."

Rubber bands. Properly pronounced "lastics."

A beeah bash.

A milkshake or malted elsewhere, it's basically ice cream, milk and chocolate syrup blended together.

The numbah aftah thihdy-nine.

Traffic tie-up caused by people looking at an accident on the other side of the road (or sometimes at excessively enthusiastic human billboards).

Tomato sauce. Primarily heard in the over-40 set in East Boston.

Half moon
Pastry known as "Black and Whites" elsewhere.

Here ya go
When a waiter or waitress states the obvious - what they say when they put food in front of you.

Hot box
Stolen car.

Jah eeet.**

Did you Eat?

Those little chocolate thingees you ask the guy at the ice-cream store to put on top of your cone. The multi-colored ones are "sprinkles."

An uncooked egg.

A bun stuffed with some sort of seafood salad, for example, a "lobsta roll." Often served on Massachusetts frankfurt buns, which look like they've been turned inside out (i.e., the outside of the bun is as white as the inside).

A traffic circle. One of Massachusetts' two main contributions to the art of traffic regulation (the other being the red-and-yellow pedestrian-crossing light).

The day after Friday.

Yes, as in: "Wanna go downa Cape this weekend? Shoe-ah!"

So don't I
An example of the Massachusetts negative positive. Used like this:
"I just love the food at Kelly's.""Oh, so don't I!"

Crazy, bold, daring: "You're soft for questioning the professah."

Meal served around 6 p.m.

Yes, as in: "Wanna go downa Cape this weekend? Shoe-ah

Wanna go?
"Let's step outside to the parking lot and settle this like real men."

What's doin'?
How are you?

A general intensifier; very: "He's wicked nuts!"

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Office Space

I work for an out bound call center, we cold call all day. Our company works with other companies who want to have their inside sales out sourced. We all work for the same company but we all sell for different companies.

I hate my job.

Most of the people I work with are very nice and mean well. The rest of them are certifiably insane.

The woman who sits in the cubicle on the other side of mine likes to makes strange noises. She growls and barks at the phone when she gets off of a difficult call. Yes, barks like a dog. I can only hear her half of the conversation which leads me to believe she has annoyed someone to death and they have had enough of her use of phrases like "what is the constuct there" and "so the left hand knows what the right is doing" has finally hung up on her.

Apparently I am the only person in the office finds this type of behavior bizarre. Every time this happens (which is at least twice a day) her cube mate turns around as asks her what happened.

What happened?!? She is fucking nuts that's what happened.

Everyday I think how did I end up here?

Monday, September 26, 2005


Hey angel
Fly over
And bless me
See you feign surprise,
I'm all eyes
You're all you
Need to be.
These words remind me of what it's like to love someone that doesn't love you back. How badly it still hurts when you see that person again nearly 10 years later with his new wife. How you thought to yourself it's not insane to be driving by his house at midnight on a Monday.

When I was young this all seemed to make sense to me. The older I get the less it does. It's stranger how these memories can come crashing back to you when the DJ on the car radio makes a comment about an 'old school' indie band from DC. "Jawbreaker no no that's not it..." "Jawbox," I scream as I pull into my driveway on a Monday.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


This article was published to on Again the Catholic Church cant' get it right when it comes to gays in the clergy. Who would have thought the military's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy would seem compassionate.

Vatican document reaffirms policy on gays
Homosexuals shouldn't be ordained as priests, Catholic Church says

ROME - A Vatican document will be released in the coming weeks that reaffirms the Catholic Church's belief that homosexuals shouldn't be ordained priests, a Vatican official said Thursday.

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the document has not been released, said the "instruction" from the Vatican's Congregation for Catholic Education would contain "some new things and some old things" and would be released well before the end of the year.

That timeframe means the document will be released just as a Vatican-mandated evaluation of all U.S. seminaries, ordered in the wake of the U.S. clergy sex abuse scandal, gets under way.

Several Vatican documents and letters over the years have said gays or men with homosexual tendencies should not be ordained, regardless of whether they can remain celibate.

A Feb. 2, 1961, Vatican document, "Instruction on the Careful Selection and Training of Candidates for the States of Perfection and Sacred Orders," made clear homosexuals should be barred from the priesthood.

"(Advancement) to religious vows and ordination should be barred to those who are afflicted with evil tendencies to homosexuality or pederasty, since for them the common life and the priestly ministry would constitute serious dangers," said the document from the then-Vatican's congregation for religious.

A 1997 letter from the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments says "admission may not take place if there exists a prudent doubt regarding the candidate's suitability. "It does not specify that homosexuality constitutes a "prudent doubt," but an American official at the Vatican, the Rev. Andrew Baker, has suggested in an article in the Jesuit magazine America that it does.

'Absolutely inadvisable and imprudent'In 2002, Cardinal Jorge Arturo Medina Estevez, then-prefect for the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, advised against allowing gays in the priesthood in a letter that was published in the congregation's publication Notitiae. He said their ordination would be "absolutely inadvisable and imprudent, and from the pastoral point of view, very risky."

The Vatican press office announced in November 2002, at the height of the U.S. clergy sex abuse scandal, that the Congregation for Catholic Education was drawing up guidelines for accepting candidates for the priesthood that would address the question of whether gays should be barred.
Catholic World News, a conservative news agency, reported earlier this week that the document had actually been in the works since 1994.

The agency said the new document would indicate that men with homosexual tendencies shouldn't be ordained even if they are celibate "because their condition suggests a serious personality disorder which detracts from their ability to serve as ministers."

In an apparently new element, the agency said the document would also say that already ordained priests, if they have homosexual tendencies, would be "strongly urged to renew their dedication to chastity and a manner of life appropriate to the priesthood."

The American prelate overseeing the evaluations, Archbishop Edwin O'Brien, said earlier this month that most gay candidates for the priesthood struggle to remain celibate and the church must "stay on the safe side" by restricting their enrollment. He stressed that the church was not "hounding" gays out of the priesthood, but wants to enroll seminarians who can maintain their vows of celibacy.

The document has been controversial from the start, and there had been speculation that it may never be released because of its sensitive nature. Some priests have said the document is sorely needed. Others say it will do more harm than good, antagonizing existing homosexual priests and driving others underground.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Another reason to hate Massachusetts

Another reason to hate Massachusetts, as if James Taylor and Carley Simon weren’t enough. It’s allergies. I am allergic to everything that is green and grows in dirt. Even pictures of rolling green hills can start a sneezing fit. Which is why you won’t every see me on a golf course, other then that fags don’t golf.

This is the worst time of the year for me because of the ragweed. In the past two days have slept for a total of 4 hours. Every time I lie down a fit of sneezing, wheezing, and coughing erupts. One night I felt fine till my head hit the pillow, then all of the sudden it was like I had inhaled 10 cotton balls. My throat was so dry I couldn’t even cough all I could do was gag. Now I am at the point where my body is producing phlegm in mass quantities.
Allergies suck, here to the first killing frost.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

My friend Nicole had this posted on her blog which she got from another friend of hers. Because I just started my blog I thought this would be a good place to start.

10 Years Ago

Ten years ago marked my first year of being gay. Now, I was born gay and have always been gay but this was the beginning of me doing something about it. It was also the end of two years of self imposed celibacy. This year marked the end of a long struggle of trying to be something I wasn't.

I also got my first "big boy" job. I had left music retail (yes, I was one of those smug jerks that would growl at you when you told me how great the latest Billy Joel release was (yes I still think Billy Joel sucks ass, and not in a good way)) to work for Anthem Electronics. Anthem was the most conservative company I have ever worked for, it was a cross between Office Space and the Firm. So much corporate bureaucracy and very own TPS report.

We sold semi conductors, no one gets excited about semi conductors with good reason. The dress code was white shirts only. The color restrictions applied to the hiring practice as well, Anthem was full upper middle class ex-jocks none of the sales guys were ugly, NONE. There were more tasseled loafers then the law should allow in that pace it was a preppy fashion nightmare. A fellow employee actually made a joke by saying "Hey, you're from Lynn you must have knifeife." Being the consummate diplomat I replied, "No, but I have a gun." It was the type of place where management could tell gay jokes with out having to worry about any complaints. Being young newly out I was to afraid to stand up for myself, which will never happen again. Anthem was bought by Arrow which ended up being a huge resume builder and working for them was the catalyst for my move to Los Angeles.

Five Years Ago
Living in West Hollywood and for the most part, loving it. I had been in LA for four years.

Fashion School and fabulousness.

It was the first time that I was out to every one I knew. It was also the first time in my life most of my friends were gay. I learned the importance of being fabulous (I thought I was already fabulous but in Boston this measured much differently), designer drugs, and brunch. Brunch is the most important meal of the week. Why? It is the best excuse be drunk by noon.

So, many great new friends.

Finally I was far away, from the narrow minded blue collar Catholic ideology that been ruling most of my life. Funny how the thing you run from find you when you least expect it.

2000 also the worst career move ever!! I know I should just get over it already but I cTnÂ’t. I was working for a company that I watched grow and really loved despite what was happening to it. As hokey as it sounds I really felt like a had a home there. I took a job that was a move up for me, it ended up being my down fall. Because of office politics, bad management, and my own bad judgment I quit. Pride is a bitch!

One Year Ago

You're Fired! Thank God! I took a job at Mac Directory, I was so happy to get fired, because if I quit I wouldn't be able to collect unemployment. The four people that were hired before me all lasted about the same amount of time as I did. Next time I get a bad feeling about a company I will run quickly.

I was living in Salem, MA in a great apartment about a half a block from Pickeringwharff. Salem is such a great little town,restaurantss, my favorite bar on the north shore and it's where the gays are sprawling to.

I will never under stand what would make a city so deep with history would allow TV Land to put a statue of Elizabeth Montgomery in a public park. None of the residents I know wanted it.

It was a great apartment with a horrible roommate, another lesson learned.

I hate my really job (see a pattern developing). Spent most of my day reading on line when I should have been making phone calls.

I thought about what it would be like to marry Eric and live happily ever after.

5 Snacks I enjoy
1. Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. (New England has the highest per capita intake of Ice Cream, LA has the lowest.
2. Big Kat

3. Fried Ice Cream
4. Pepperidge Farms Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies
5. Ho Ho's

5 Songs I Know All The Words To
I actually know the words to entire albums, so that is what I am listing and the list could go on and on and on, so I am going to name 10.
1. Blind Man's Zoo 10,000 Maniacs
2. Porcelain Julia Fordham
3. Pretty Hate Machine Nine Inch Nails
4. The Trinity Sessions Cowboy Junkies
5. Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me the Cure (both album and CD versions the album has one more song on it then the CD.)

6. I've never loved a man the way that I love you Aretha Franklin
7. Strange ways here we come the Smiths
8.Rattlel and Hum U2
9. Green REM
10.Absolutelyy everything that Madonna has ever released.

If I Had A Million Dollars ...
For the purpose of this survey I will be assuming that I don't have to pay taxes on the money. If I had to pay the taxes my self I would only afford to buy a house.

1. Start a non profit that will provide needy woman with job training.
2. Live bicoastal, but not bisexual.
3. Travel.
4. Buy a custom Trek.
5. Try to figure out a way to restart Palotta Team Works as a not for profit.

5 Things I like to do
1. Making out!
2. Sing loudly
3. Watching independent movies.
4. Listen to old CDs
5. Cycling

Five Bad Habits
1. Impatience
2. Road Rage (Driving in Boston is taking your life in your own hands.)
3. Judgmental
4. Horrible with money
5. Eat to much junk food

5 Things I Will Never Wear Again
1. Tighty Whities
2. Concealer (Hello I lived in West Hollywood)
3. My bathrobe to the mall (My sister loves to tell this story, this is the only place I will every cop to it)4. Plaid Doc Martin Boots
5. Poor quality shoes

Five Favorite Toys
1. My Bike
2. My IPod
3. My Laptop
4. Wet
5. My Penis :)

Friday, September 02, 2005

Hey France, Mange Merde!!

Once again Lance Armstrong has prevailed after being accused of doping by the French sports daily L'Equipe. L'Equipe tested samples of urine that were taken from Lance in '99.

Are you kidding me??

Lance is the most tested athlete in professional sports he has never ever tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. He has won the Tour de France for the past 7 years, and during each race he has had to defend himself against similar accusations. In this
SI article Lance is defended by the governing body of cycling.

Lance has come back to win 7 straight Tours after beating testicular cancer. He is a inspiration and hero to many Americans and other cycling fans (even in France). Lance has single handedly brought cycling to the forefront in the US. He has raised millions for cancer research and proven not all Texans lie.

Shame on you L'Equipe!