Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Sex toy bill remains in House subcommittee

This was taken from WIS Channel 10 web site in Columbia, SC.

Another reason for my gay ass to stay the hell out of the south. And you may want to rethink what your packing when you go to visit your Mom.

May 19, 2006 - A sex toy ban has already happened in Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas. South Carolina could be next on that list.

For 27 years Pat Irons has made a living selling "creams and lotions, massaging oils" and other things we won't repeat.

In Irons' opinion, "We don't consider it an X-rated book store."
But what she does at Sugar and Spice in West Columbia could become a felony. Irons says, "I think it would hurt a lot of marriages."

A bill by Upstate Representative Ralph Davenport would make it illegal to sell devices used for sexual stimulation.

Davenport admits he doesn't even know what a sex toy is. Nor does he have a strong opinion about them. The bill, he says, will help the people he represents.
If the bill passes selling sex toys would be a felony. The punishment would be five years in prison and/or a $10,000 fine.

"Mark" tells WIS, "I think that's a tool for a relationship, for satisfaction. I think the government has no business in my bedroom."

Julianne Wolfe, on the other hand, says, "Something that was pornographic or involved children that wasn't Biblical, I would have a problem."

Shirley Martin has different priorities, "I wouldn't even consider it. I would be moving on to finding food for children."

The bill sits in a House subcommittee. So at least for now what sells behind the doors of Sugar and Spice is legal.

Reported by Maggie Alexander

Posted 10:04pm by Chantelle Janelle

Monday, June 26, 2006

I Don’t Speak Indonesian

This weekend I was out to a local gay club, by local I mean it’s not in Boston, by not in Boston I mean it caters to the tragic suburban gays, by tragic I mean a drag queen wearing black stockings and white shoes in a dress that was trying to hard to be Bob Mackie, but failing miserably.

My friend Maureen and sat at the bar taking in the local color while playing a game of guess my gender. This bar is in Haverhill about 5 miles from New Hampshire a butch lesbian paradise. This place is so close to the flannel line if you if it weren’t for the facial hair you wouldn’t be able to tell the bears from the womynn.

Maureen was telling me about her plans go home to Indonesia next Fall. She had a new nephew born this past Spring, she is very excited to see him and the rest of her relatives that still live in Jakarta.

“Do you want to come, when I go home?”

“I dunno, are there gay bars there?”

“Yeah, of course that’s where I hang out. Boys will be falling all over when they find out your Americana.”

“Great it will be like LA all over again. Little Asian men following me around night cubs asking me questions like, ‘Is everything proportionate?’ or “Do you speak Tagalog?”

Ok, I know I’m idiot of asking that question but I was bout 4 beers into it by that time and the idea of traveling to a country in Asia has always scared me. It isn’t because Indonesia is the largest Muslim majority country in the world and I’m a Gay American. It isn’t because I am afraid if I get hurt I will end up in a scary Third World hospital. It’s because I am afraid of being the tallest person for miles, sort of a walking sideshow. I have visions of people pointing and laughing at me.

Now you think I’m even more of an idiot and your probably right.

“Does your family speak English?”

“Yes. If we go you just have to learn a few Indonesian words. It's very easy not like English.”

“Like dalma?”



“That’s not an Indonesian word.”

“Yeah it is. It was on that package of noodles you gave me.”

“You’re crazy.”

An hour goes by, more drinks are served.

“Is it dolmas?”

“Are you back to that again?”

“Yeah, dolmas that’s it.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t come.”

Friday, June 23, 2006

Where'd Ya Go!

I am here and everything is fine. Fine might not be the correct word for it, dull would be much more accurate. There hasn’t been much happening in my life since my last post. The biggest news is that I have managed not to get laid off in past few weeks. In a life that has seen little in the way of things that resemble achievement I will take that as a top 10.

In the past few weeks I each time I have tried to post to my blog I have had some sort of computer issue or Blogger has been down for maintenance. Usually when I write my posts I use MS Works, which is the worst program on the planet. It regularly has a performance error while it’s running causing it to shut down without warning and without saving what I had written. I know from reading this you probably envisioned me as a cool, calm and collected individual, but the fact of the matter is I have inherited a bit of my fathers explosive temper. The last time I lost a post I a started to pound on the keyboard of my laptop much like a 2 year old in a highchair demanding to be fed. This is something I wouldn’t recommend it cost me $150 in repairs and two weeks of internet porn. It was touch and go for a few days.

Now that I have my computer back I will be posting more often.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I Had A Bad Day

I just spent two hours working on a post that chronicled how yesterday sucked ass (not in the good way) then my computer crashed and took the post with it. Here is the Cliff Notes version.

My work project ended.

Out of no where I got laid off. Not only did I get laid off, but I was told I had to come into the office the next day to fill out and collect the paperwork I would need for my 401K and COBRA. There was no mention of my final paycheck which is in violation of employment laws.

Me shocked and very angry.

Went on a date with the guy I hadn't connected with a week and a half ago. He was nice, cute, smart and liked him. After the date was over I went back to the lot he assured me was OK for me to park in to find that my car had been towed.

Surprised myself that I managed not to have a breakdown.

Called the towing company to have them give me their address and for them to tell me it would be $120 get my car back, that's cash only.

Still holding it together.

The date told me he knew where the towing company was, but after driving around for a while it turns out he had no idea of the location.

I managed not to inflict any bodily harm, he was cute after all and offered to pay for half.

He called the towing company again to get the address. Got my car back, the date gave me a thinly veiled invitation for sex. I accepted.

After sex, which was pretty good got lost going home. I surprised to find how quickly I was escorted to the door. I hadn't foreseen the walk of shame.

The drive that should have taken 30 minutes turned into an hour, because Boston sucks.

This morning tired and hungover I called to set up my appointment with the HR Manger to get my paper work.

Thirty minutes later get a call from my boss saying they have a project for me and asked me if I could come into work now. Managed not to laugh in his face, but told him I would be in on Monday.

God I think I need another drink.