Another Holiday in Hell
Thank God Thanksgiving is over! I hate this time of the year.
I am drowning in family obligations. Not only do I have Thanksgiving had Christmas which is a two day event with my family, I have five birthdays. My mother's and my sister's three sons are all in November. My niece has her's is in December. My sister refuses to make it easy for every one and just have one party of all of them.
So far this month my sister has expected me to be to her house for dinner 4 times in the past two weeks. Family is like most good things best when enjoyed in moderation.
We were at my sister's house the day before Thanksgiving, for birthday number 2, when both her and I were given a talking to by my father. Seems he didn't like the way were speaking to each other when we were there the Friday before for my mother's birthday. He told us separately that he felt very uncomfortable and that we had better not do it again. It doesn't matter if you are 4 or 34 he still feels he as the right to regulate your behavior.
Now when this happens he doesn't discreetly pull you aside. He does it right in front of who ever may be standing there at the time. That way you will be less likely to cause a scene or punch him in the eye. I did neither of these things, however I wanted to do both.
The best part of it is after it's said he acts like nothing happened, he is all hugs and smiles. Which of course just makes me more angry. I spent all of the Thanksgiving staying away from him. Luckily my sister had 21 guests for dinner so it wasn't that hard.
Next year I am going to on vacation for Thanksgiving.
posted by Scott E D @ 9:26 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
It's always like that. My family would believe anything anyone else told them but me, never. I was always wrong, particularly on anything that had to do with politics. Then someone else would express the same opinion and, of course, they thought he was very wise.
Your Dad sounds like my grandma. She believed she could say anything to a family member, no matter how insulting, and it was OK.
I have to agree with your sister, though, about the birthdays. If you were a kid, would you want your's lumped in with another sibling's? I would probably commit fratricide if that were done to me. However, you should not have to go to these. If the kids are young, let them have their parties with their friends, you can send a giant present and be a hit in absentia. I do that with my nephews, although it helps that they live three states away.
The next time your Dad starts in on you in public, respond. Tell him, in front of everyone, (in a calm yet authoritative voice) that you are an adult and that you would like to be treated like one. If has issues with your behavior he can discuss it with you privately and that this discussion is now closed. Then smile and change the subject immediately.
Yea dont ya love the way parents never learn to treat you as an adult..no matter how old you get?
Wow..all those birthdays.
Hope it was bearable.
Jim in Western MA
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