Thursday, August 31, 2006

Health Update

I think my doctor is just fucking with me. What he is doing is just pushing me to see how long it will take before I am pushed to the point that I grab by the sagging flesh on his neck and squeeze the last breath out of him. Let me tell you he has come dangerously close.

Yesterday morning (Wednesday) I called his office for the fourth time to speak to the nurse practitioner that had seen me on my initial visit. As with the previous three times I called she wasn’t in the office after I was told she was going to be. WTF? My face started to get hot and I started to sweat.

I will be calm. I will not yell at this woman she is just answering the phone it isn’t her fault that she can’t give me an accurate time when the nurse will be in, she is more then likely retarded, she deserves my pity not my anger. Also it isn’t her fault that the doctor she works for is an inept condescending moron. I will get her to work with me; I need her help right now.

“I was in last Wednesday, Lori told me the rash I have is staph, and it hasn’t gone away. She told me to call if it didn’t go away. I have spoken to Dr. Clapp twice. He told me to speak to her because she saw me initially. This is the fourth time I have called to speak to her she hasn’t called me back. I need to be seen by someone today!” I was curt but I didn’t raise my voice.

“That’s probably a good idea I have something open at 11:00 am. Can you do that?”

“Yes, thank you.”

When I got to the office I was brought to an exam room and told to take of my shirt. This was the first time I had been in this particular exam room. It doubled as his office and was carpeted. Carpet in an exam room does not translate to sterile environment in my mind. In addiction to the carpet the light in this room was so dim I could hardly see well enough to tell what the true color of the carpet was. Just being in this room alone would have been enough for me to find a more suitable doctor regardless of this past week’s frustration.

He looked at the rash, “That doesn’t look viral like I thought.”

No shit.

“Ok now can I see the penile bump? Ok that looks like it’s healing. She gave you some cream for that?

“No it was for something else.”

“Well, you can put that on the bump it will help it heal it’s a steroid.”

“Is it MRSA?”

“It could be a lot of things I’m not sure.”

“Lori told me I have staph is that what the rash is and I have been exposed to two different people with MSRA?”

“I am going to refer you to a dermatologist. It’s not chlamydia or herpes those tests came back negative.”

No shit.

Everything he has said has been in a passive tone like he wasn’t when I mentioned the MRSA this tone changed from passive to dismissive. I know I didn’t spend eight years training to practice medicine, however I do know how to use Google, which you may be unaware, is a treasure-trove of information.

The assistant gave me the name of two dermatologists and instructed me to call her back to let her know when my appointment would be so she could give me a referral. HMO’s are such bullshit.

When I got back to my office I called the first doctor.

“Right the first appointment we have available is in January.”

“My doctor told me I might have a staph infection, but isn’t sure. It’s kind of an emergency, is there anything you can give me sooner?”

“We can only see so many patients in the time we have Sir”


I called the second doctor’s office the woman answering the phone was much nicer. She scheduled me for an appointment for September 16th, still not good enough but I had her pencil me in, she was the fist person I’ve spoken to who seemed to under stand the urgency of the situation. She said she would put me on a waiting list for first available. This office is only open four hours two days a week. Yeah, I am in the wrong business.

My plan was to call my doctor’s office back to see if they thought I should wait or just go to the emergency room. By the time I got off the phone with the dermatologist’s office it was to late to call my doctor, they’d already closed. A few hours later the dermatologist called me back to tell me they could get me in on Saturday.

Today the ex-boyfriend went to his doctor for a check up on his infection and he is getting better. He explained to his doctor that I thought I had it too, but I was getting little satisfaction from my doctor. His doctor told me to call him if I doubted what the dermatologist told me he would bee able to see me right away. I probably should have called his doctor last week.


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