Monday, August 07, 2006

To Out or Not To Out

A few months ago I hooked up with a guy that I have talk to online several times. Things went as planned, but there was something hauntingly familiar about him. Being that I live about 10 miles from the town I grew up in I get this feeling often. We are also talking about the type of place where if you move out, you will eventually move back. The reason for this I’m not entirely sure I have yet to figure out my own reasons for coming back here.

He was using the shower when I solved the mystery. I went threw his wallet and read his drives license. Just kidding. The thought crossed my mind, but I didn’t need to invade is privacy, I actually remember. He is the brother of a friend of my ex-girlfriend and also the cousin of the ex-girlfriend’s brother-in-law. Ah life in a small incestuous town.

Last I heard of him he was living with his wife and two children. Had I remembered who he was before we hooked up, I surly wouldn’t have gone through with it. I’m no home wrecker nor am I saying that after one tryst with me he would see the light and leave that woman, that’s a total lie I am saying that, but I still don’t go down that road.

I decided I would let him know I knew what I knew then he’d know too and feel really bad for doing what he did. Not often do I have this type of power over someone else, I needed to savor it.

“Are you from Lynn?"

“Yeah, I am. Are you?” his tone was suspicious.

“Yeah is your last name ‘something long and Greek’?”

The look on his face was more then just stunned, it said, “If you just said what I think you just said I am going to dismember your body and cut it into tiny pieces, it will take months or even years for them to find the pieces if even find all of the pieces which they won’t because I have military training. In the many, many, many times that I have hooked up I have never been as scared as I was from that look, but I am sure he realized that I would scratch one of his eyes out with the voracity of a an angry drag queen as soon as he was close enough to me with a knife because he smiled, a scary smile but a smile still.

“Right I thought the name on your email was familiar.”

Good he knew I knew.

“Yeah we only met a couple of times.”

“Right in the 80’s with your brother.”

Oh no, I don’t have a brother.

“No I know your sister S. We went to school together I used to date Tracy her best friend. I met you at your parents’ 25th anniversary party. Then again at their house a while later.”


He laughed a bit nervously, then started to pace as he dressed. It’s one thing to be recognized and have the ability to say no you must have been mistaken, but it’s certainly another thing for someone to say I know you I know your parents, aunts, uncles and cousins, there is no way out of this one.

“This is a bit awkward.”

“Not for me it isn’t.” I pressed my luck and smiled.

“I like your place do you mind if I look around?”


While you’re looking notice how close the neighbors are, close enough to hear me scream.

He walked from room to room he looked out all the windows then opened the back door inspecting almost every inch. He kept making mindless small talk avoiding saying what I knew was coming. I was getting creeped out.

“How good are you at keeping secretes? ‘Cause you know my family doesn’t know and I’d like to keep it that way. My life is private. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah no problem.” He stared at me for a couple of seconds the way the godfather would if he had just asked you to do him a ‘favor’ to make sure you understood the gravity of the situation.

I passed the test. He walked tword the door.

"Email me you are interested in doing it again"

I smiled eventhough I wasn't.

Immediately I got on the phone to call Tracy to tell her what happened. No harm in telling her since her and his sister S had a falling out years ago when Tracy married S’s old fuck buddy. She was shocked. He is the last person she would have expected to be on the receiving end of something she’d rather not think about. She also voted him most likely to commit homicide and assured me the story would go no further. It turns out the family with the long Greek name is not the most open minded group. Also she was able to tell me that he and his girlfriend not wife broke up quite some time before our afternoon together.

He called me twice the following day, twice the day after that, he didn’t leave any messages. On the tried day he called me again I answered, he denied calling me at all the two days before. He asked if we could me again, I told him I didn’t have time. That was the end of it.

I hadn’t even thought about him till last Thursday when I was going through the names on which lists that names of people who have signed a petition that to have the MA state constitution amended to define marriage to be between a man and a woman only, even though the constitution clearly states the State can not create first class and second class citizens as such an amendment would. There was his name listed with his parents address. I called Tracy to confirm the address and that it wasn’t another relative, because there were two other families on the street with the same last name. Tracy confirmed he was the only one with his first name.

Now I am faced with a serious dilemma. I am all for the outing of closeted politicians who vote against gay rights legislation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with plastering their names in every corner of both the physical world and the cyber world. However, I am a bit more reluctant with a private citizen. Is it appropriate to send his mother a card that says: Congratulations your oldest son likes to take it in the ass?


At 10:35 AM, Blogger David said...

No No and No. As momentarily gratifying as that might be, from the little I know of you, I am pretty sure that the fallout that would follow, possibly including violence by or against him, you would feel pretty shitty about it. At least I hope you would.

The first person you tell is him. AFTER you invite him over again, and do him like the pig bottom he is. While he's lying there, in the afterglow, his ass throbbing from the pounding you just gave him, you mention to him what you know and wonder aloud how much a person must hate themselves to sign a petition like that.

Then you need to suggest counseling, or support groups. You need to tell him that by signing that petition he is hurting people like you, and that you have no problem letting the whole gay world know what a hyprocrite he is. You won't out him, but if he ever, ever wants to get laid again in the Continental US and its territories, he'd better start changing his tune, soon.

That's my suggestion.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Scott E D said...

I actually talked to him on last night. When I told him his name was on the petition he told me he didn’t sign it, he has no idea how his name got there nor was he a bit concerned that it was. Of course I won’t be speaking to him again.

At 7:16 PM, Blogger The Persian said... have been hooking up since the 80's? Anyway..I wouldn't do a thing, it's his life and he hasn't harmed you in any way, why bother get involved with his disfunctional mess of a life?

There are hundreds (if not thousands) of closeted men out there just like him, just move on, pretend like your interactions never happened.


At 6:50 AM, Blogger Will said...

You're a better man--and certainly a more honest man--than he. His punishment is the hell he's created for himself by his dishonest life style even though he lives in what is probably the single most liberal and gay-friendly state in the union. My advise is to not demean yourself by acting in a vengeful, dishonorable way.

At 2:22 PM, Blogger coolbuddha said...

Date hell! That said, me and the local Bishop have learnt to get on famously. I even get the occasional mention from the pulpit (heavily coded, of course).

At 7:07 AM, Blogger J.Michael said...

Isn't your word worth anything? You promised you wouldn't say anything and the first thing you do is call up your old girlfriend.
Regardless of his public persona of being an anti-gay, you should take the higher road.


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