Is There a Doctor in the House

Another challenge to living in the ‘burbs was brought to my attention today with a trip to the doctor. I have been going to the same doctor for a year and a half. The doctor that runs the practice specialty is cardiology from the people I see in the waiting room most of his patients in their 70’s. Usually I see the nurse practitioner, who I really like. That is until this morning.
I had made the appointment because I have plantar fasciitis, this makes standing for long periods of time very painful. The second reason is I have what looks like a pimple on my penis that is needless to say freaking me out.

When the nurse practitioner realized she would have to examine the area she became visibly nervous. She even remarked, “Oh that’s the real reason you came in.” Of course I wasn’t looking forward to having that area of my body poked and prodded by a woman that had a matronly demeanor that reminded of my mother. However I would much rather endure that type of humbling experience than letting a health issue go long enough to turn into an even bigger problem. Not to mention this “pimple” is prohibiting use of this organ that I rather enjoy using.

“Unfortunately I am going to have to take a peek just to make sure it’s not herpes.”
Unfortunately? Of course you are going to look at it, because if you give a diagnosis without looking at it I am going to report you to the medial board and have your license revoked. And just so you know lady mine is actually pretty nice to look at!

This was not the way to put my mind at ease considering I was already experiencing a large level of anxiety from not knowing what is happening in my body while going through the list of things I knew could be wrong.

She instructed me to remove my pants then place a large piece of paper on my lap, for the sake my own comfort I could leave my underwear on. She left the room to give me some privacy. A few moments she came back into the room and put on rubber gloves.

“Ok now think of something else. Did you have a nice summer?”

“Yeah it’s been OK.”

Are you kidding I’m not a five year old that needs to be distracted so I won’t throw a tantrum.

“That looks good. Yes that looks good as well. You have some red ness on your skin, is that happening any where else?”

“Yeah I have a little rash on my stomach.”

“Ok that’s staph.”

She ended the exam and explained that it was just an infection, she was going to give me round of strong antibiotics that cover several STDs just to be on the safe side. That is the only time during the entire time I was in the office that she put me at ease, but I will still be looking for a new doctor.