Gay Priests

When I was a child mother wanted me to be a priest. Till the time I was about 18 she would tell me how it was a great life and how wonderful the job is.

“Wouldn’t your Great Grandmother be so proud?”

It’s ironic to think how well I would have fit in.

Now the Catholic Church is saying they are banning gays. They don’t want the priesthood to be thought of as a gay profession as it is now. Apparently somewhere there is a huge group of straight men who are avoiding becoming priests because of all the gays. Only the new Pope seems to have talked to one of these men.

Here are a few reasons why it will always be a gay profession. Straight men could never appreciate these things the way we could.

1. Dress Up – No one bats an eyelash when you show up in a dress. Then as you get promoted you get jewelry. Can we talk about the hats? Private industry really should look into this reward system.

2. Pageantry – Every ceremony starts and ends with a parade where the main attraction is you.

3. The Gossip – You get to hear everyone’s most juicy secrets. The only draw back is you can’t tell, but girl if she only knew who her husband was sleeping with!

4. The Travel – This month it’s Rome, next month Sao Paulo, then South Beach. Every trip is a business trip, Fabulous!

5. All The Word’s A Stage – Once a week hundreds of people come to see your one man show. There is a great monologue, some singing, you’re still trying to get the dancing worked out but we know you will.

6. The Housing – Usually you are put up in the biggest house in town. It comes complete with volunteers who do the cooking, cleaning, and the laundry. Servants with out the payroll.

7. The Work Week – Two days a week a few hours a day. The rest of the time is me time.

8. Basic Black – Everyone looks better in back. You may have gained a pound or two but no one will suspect.

9. The Crucifix – Every room in your house has a sculpture and/or painting of a man with great abs in his underwear. No one thinks it’s excessive.

10. Communion – Not only are you the only one in room who gets a full glass of wine, you get to ration it out to everyone else. “Honey, don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

11. You're The Favorite – Finally you are the favorite child. The other kids can push out as many kids as they like, but you’ll always get top billing. Any one who argues goes to hell.