Half-Nekkid Thursday

Pease Be Quite I’m Trying to Pee Here

For the life of me I will never understand the need for people to chat me up while I am standing at the urinal. I am so pee shy that even just the thought of someone being in men’s room can cause things to freeze up.

A few times I have waited so long to go that I thought my bladder would explode only find I couldn’t go because people were lingering at the sinks having a conversation. Oh, I gave it the old college but no water works.

So if you see me standing at the urinal, we can wait to chat. I am trying to concentrate.

Idol Worship

I am the lord your god you shall have no false gods before me.

Ok, so I am going to come right out with it. I fell I should be living my life with honesty. It’s the only true path to happiness. I just never thought I would feel this way, even though I have been feeling it for a while. If it weren’t for the shame I probably would have told you sooner. Last week I did mention it passing, no one said anything negative about so here it comes. Brace yourself.

I… I… oh god this is so hard. I LOVE American Idol!

There I said it.

Never Again

Note to self: The next time a lesbian invites me to a strip club, say NO!

When my coworker Maureen invited me to her birthday party I was kind of excited. I don’t have many gay friends and my only lesbian friend recently switched teams. The plan was going to strip club, I thought it would be fun. How can you beat a night at a strip club with a group of lesbians.

As it turns out I should have done more investigating before I accepted the invitation. The plan was to meet at a hotel called the Driftwood Motel in Salisbury where there would be a pre-party of sorts. There was a post party planned as well in the same room. I inadvertently ignored this red flag.

Salisbury is not the type of New England beach town you see in post cards. It’s much lower end, think Jersey shore only with out the class. This town has what is probably the largest strip club in the state a block from the beach, do I really need to say more.

I met Maureen and her other guests at the motel. When I walked inside the in room the Jacuzzi tub and mirrored ceiling left me wondering if they got the nightly or the hourly rate. The cigarette smoke was so thick you could chew it.

Introductions were made the party was about 15 strong. Maureen was the only lesbian in the group, a major disappointment. The whole reason for me going on this outing was to make some more gay friends. The only gays were me, her and a young couple of guys. The guys were a new couple, the kind that is attached to each other literally attached.

Now I found myself going to a strip club with a group of strangers most of whom were straight women. I was not happy this wasn’t what I expected. These weren’t just straight woman, they were straight woman from New Hampshire, they are like lesbians with husbands. I decided to make the best of it.

We made our way over to the club. Parking in the lot was tight. A water-main had ruptured leaving the lot covered in two inches of ice and frigid water. A cold wet queen is not a happy queen. Luckily I was able to avoid the water, however I did almost fall on my ass twice.

When we got into the club Maureen was more excited then I am at a Kenneth Cole 50% off shoe sale. Can I just say this bitch loves shoes. She bounced up the stairs looking over her shoulder to make sure we were all still behind her.

Inside the club it took a couple of minutes for me eyes to adjust to the low level of light, it was almost darker then it was outside. I would later learn low lights were a good thing being able to see stretch marks is not.

This place was huge. It was a theater in the round. The stage had a weird amoeba shape with four rounded corners that allowed four girls to dance at once. There was a pole in the middle of the stage it was only used but the more experienced girls. Chairs were set up around the stage to allow you sit a tip the girls. Outside of the stage were several cocktail size tables that would allow you to be more discreet with your ogling.

I’m not normally taken aback by much, but for some reason I wasn’t expecting to see a woman with her crotch at eyelevel. The stage made these woman look ten feet tall. While we made our way to an empty table I saw naked woman kissing other women. There were women gyrating on the floor. There were woman rubbing men’s heads with their breasts. Half naked girls everywhere! You know when you pick up big old rock to find spiders running all over the place that was all I could think of, my first reaction was to put that big old rock back.

I’m not prude I have been in bathhouses, in porn theaters, I’ve had strangers having sex in my living room (ok there were roommates friends), none of that bothered me but this was freaking me out! I had a beer but it didn’t help. I had another, still way to sober for this venture. One more I prayed would do the trick. Not even making fun of the girl with the cellulite made it better. (Normally I love a fat girl as much as the next fag, but this girl is paid to be naked. I know a girls got to make a living but there is a line.)

After about an hour and a half right after Maureen’s Birthday Lab dance I made and excuse about how the beer away making me feel sick. I heading for the door in a hasty retreat back to the safety of my car.

I guess I’m not as liberal as I thought.

Romney vs. O'Malley

This article was taken from Boston.com the Boston Globe's web site. This story has been in the news for the past week.

I am glad to know our Mormon Governor is siding with the actual law something the Catholic Church has shown it has little regard for.

At the bottom of the article on the site, which I have linked to, there is a box featuring some Google ads. Much to my shock the last Google ad says Against Gay Adoption.

I know these ads aren’t generated or even hosted by the Globe, but WTF? Isn't any one at the Globe checking the advertising that goes on their site? How could some one be so insensitive to let this slip?

Experienced Adoption5,000 adoptions since 1991 tired of waiting?www.eaci.com

For This ChildGuatemalan Adoption Specialists. It's what we do. It's all we do.www.forthischild.org

Against gay adoptionAdoption Opportunity and Advice. Adoption - Against gay adoptionwww.AdoptMeBaby.com


Romney, Rep. cool to bishops request for gay adoption exemption

February 17, 2006

BOSTON --Gov. Mitt Romney and a top legislative leader say a request by the state's four Roman Catholic bishops to exempt Catholic social service agencies from having to place adoptive children with gay households is unlikely to be granted.

Romney told The Boston Globe he was not authorized to give such an exemption, while State Rep. Eugene O'Flaherty, House chairman of the joint committee on the judiciary, said there would be little support among lawmakers to offer an exemption from the state's antidiscrimination laws.

The archbishop of Boston, as well as the bishops of Fall River, Worcester and Springfield, are planning to hire a Boston law firm to explore legal and political strategies for opting out of gay adoptions, which the Vatican has called "gravely immoral."

Catholic Charities, the social service arm of the Boston Archdiocese, has in the past two decades allowed a small percentage of the total number of children it has placed to be adopted into homes with gay parents in compliance with state antidiscrimination laws.

Of the 720 adoptions that group has completed in the past 20 years, only 13 have gone to same-sex couples. Those adopted were all foster children who were considered hard to place because they had special needs or were older.

The bishops' plan appears to be at odds with the 42-member board of Catholic Charities, which voted unanimously in December to continue the practice of allowing gays to adopt.
Romney, an opponent of gay marriage, said upon hearing of the bishops' plan, that he asked his legal counsel to research whether he had the authority to exempt an organization from the law.

"My understanding is that any exemption would require legislation and would not be something I would be authorized to do on a personal basis," Romney said, while not discussing his own views on the practice.

O'Flaherty said, that while he respects the church's position on the matter, he would oppose granting such an exemption to any social agency that contracted with the state.
"This is a very divisive issue that I don't see making it onto the agenda for debate," he said. "We have enough on our plate already."

Representatives of the archdiocese and Catholic Charities said on Thursday that funds to pay for the legal strategy were coming from Catholic Charities budget, which surprised some board members.

"I'm shocked," board member Donna DePresco said. "I find it hard to believe."

The board members serve three-year terms at the pleasure of Archbishop Sean O'Malley.

The bishops may also consider going to court to fight the antidiscrimination laws on First Amendment grounds protecting religious freedom.

© Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Half-Nekkid Thursday

I Love the Olympics

Every year there is Olympics I am glued to the TV. Normally I am not much of a sports fan. I try to catch as many Sox games as I can, but that’s about it. Other professional sports can’t hold my attention for more 5 minutes.

During the Olympics I am watching sports I have never heard before, like the biathlon and curling. If curling makes you an athlete then, I am already in the physical condition of my life. Who the fuck thinks of this shit?

I;ll blame the Norwegians they seem to win everything.

Usually I am emotionally wrapped up in the back stories of the competitors like the story of the Chinese figure skating coach who was half of the People‘s Republic’s first Olympic figure skating team. This year he is coaching two teams this that both won medals. And the story of thee 52 year old Venezuelan luger who is the first person to represent that country in a Winter Games.

This year is different. I can’t be bothered with thier tales of inspiration and hope. That’s because my new boyfriend Jeremy Bloom is competing in Men’s Freestyle Skiing. Please join me in rooting Jeremy on!
Don’t worry Jeremy if you don’t metal I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.

What Is Happening

For the past day every time I've tried to get to by blog I couldn't. All I would get is a blank gray page.

Just now I tried posting something, suddenly it is back.

Is there a ghost in the machine or is this a problem with Blogger?

Snow Job '06

Today has been the first day off a I have had in months that I didn’t have any previous obligations. I was looking forward to going into the city for brunch. Actually it was knish I was after. It’s hard to believe I live in a place where the closest Jewish deli is at least 15 miles away.

My plans were ruined by the Blizzard of ‘06. Which wasn’t really a blizzard at all in the part of state I live in, we missed on a technicality of how long we had low visibility. Someone actually made that a rule. I am not sure what the official snowfall was but it’s between 15-20”.

This is the first time I have spent the entire day in the house since I moved here in May ‘05. I have cleaned every surface in my apartment, swept, and washed all the floors, paid bills and I still have time to relax.

What the hell do people do with two days off a week?

Half-Nekkid Thursday

Again this week I am presenting Dr. S. He feel this was a much better shot of him.

What do you think?

The Fridge

Today Darin was asking people to send in pics of their mouse pads. I use a laptop, so no mouse pad. Then naked boy suggested in the comments people take a pic of their refrigerator right then. Here is my entry.

The idea is the picture is supposed to say something about me. I will leave that for you to decide.

Here is a list of it's contents.

Half full bottle of ketchup.
Bottle of barbecue sauce.
Bottle of mustard
Bottle of tahtuh (tartar) sauce.
Half a bag of baby spinach.
Maple Leaf hot dogs with rolls.
Soy milk.
Salsa probably past the expiration date.
Blue cheese salad dressing.
Half a jar of mole which as been in there for god knows how long.
Whole wheat hamburger rolls.
Lastly the light doesn't work. Yes, I did try changing the bulb.

What's in your fridge?

Congratulations

Congratulations Shawn for making your national television debut on American Idol last night.

Shawn for in the montage of "Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog". After his audition in Boston he was disappointed to only make it to the second round of auditions. He had no idea his audition would be part of last night's broadcast.

According to his boyfriend Steve," He was really quite shocked he made the show after all. Then angry he made the 'they all suck' section."

Ahh fame can be such a bitch.

Work Out

I keep promising myself that I am going to start and exercise program, but there has been one small problem. I am deathly afraid of the gym.

I am afraid of the gym like some people are afraid of the dentist. Just the thought of being inside of one almost sends me into a panic attack. Suddenly I am in the fourth grade and being picked last for kick ball. There‘s me standing up against the wall staring at me shoes praying to god for to be over.

A couple of years ago I gave in got a membership even hired a trainer. That made things much easier. He got me on a program taught me proper technique, but he started to get to expensive. I haven’t been back since.

In the summer it’s much easier. I can go out and do a few miles on my bike, that doesn’t work so well when there is snow on the ground.

I am just going to have to suck it up or buy some bigger pants.

My Super Sunday

Well dressed customer: Who are you choosing today?

Me: Who am I choosing? Oh, I’ll be choosing Tom Ford for Gucci .

Well dressed customer chuckling: I think that will be wonderful.

Half-Nekkid Thursday

For Shame

Which should generate more shame?

The fact that I have a local restaurant who specializes in greasy comfort food programmed into my cell phone.

Or that I have the guy that hosts a local glory hole discretely labeled as GH programmed into the same phone.

WTF?

What the fuck happened to my blog? After I posted the pic for Dr. S last week it's been fucked up.

When I view it with IE everything that should be in the side bar appears at the bottom of the blog entries. When I view it with Firefox the side bar is where it should be.

Does anyone know why this is happening?